six

no history due tomorrow!!! good lordy i've been geeking out about it all day. ridiculous. NEXT friday!! that relieves a WHOLE lot of stress. whew! (i love brandon) aand all classes today were relatively uneventful. yuup. (i love brandon) one more freaking day to get through. then i'm hoome! one more day. one more day. one more day!

five

i didn't think it was possible, but i am more in love with brandon than i've ever been. i love him more than i did yesterday, and tomorrow i'll love him more than i did today. gah. hes so amazing in every way. i'm gonna marry him.

four

just got off the phone with brandon!! gah i freaking love that boy!! for real. we're gonna move in together after this semester. and i'm gonna go to community college and take classes online while hes in the military. i'm gonna become an elementary school teacher with my own little classroom with classroom pets and a reading rug and cute colorful boards with cute little kids and even the little hellians i'll love and i'll mold their minds and create my own little mark on the world. i'll also have a little art station so kids can learn to love art because i think that's important. but whats most important is that my future is so clear... with brandon. and that he sees it too, and that we can talk about it together. ah! i can't wait. just to be with him... life will be amazing!! =D

three

art & history yesterday afternoon... art professor wanted my work at the end of class; that was flattering =] apparently i did learn a thing or two in the last four years of art class! kagle would be proud. history... boring as usual. ugh that's gonna be my hardest class for sure, too much interpretation and those stupid young professors try to make everything harder to prove themselves. ew. girls that sit next to me are quite obnoxious; rolling their eyes anytime someone decides to offer an intelligent thought to the discussion. its so sad they have to poke fun at people just because they pay attention in class and actually have a brain. gr.

aand last night brandon and i had quite the conversation online! i won't go into the gooey details, but basically i love him to death, and apparently he feels the same =D yayayayayayay!! we talked about the "future" wooo baby! he could be The One... ah! giggly tingles shivers and sweats all at the same time! so this is love =]

english, univ100, & stats today. aallll kinda sucky. no need for details there. been keeping in touch with brandon all day of course. sounds like hes having a pretty good time at the beach which is good. i was scared after sunday's events that it was going to be ruined for him =[ but so far so good! oh also went to christiansburg with holly to get her phone fixed. stupid cell phones gr, why do they have to be so complicated!! she treated me to jimmy johns which was very nice =] she said thank you for driving her like a gazillion and one times, i dunno i guess that's not weird, but i can't imagine anyone being like "no i'm just not in the mood" well if your friend really needs a ride somewhere aka to get her cell phone fixed, i can feel her pain and heck yes i'll take her! that's not even something i have to think about doing... just helping people. everyone should do it. and i hope everything goes ok with her & sam eek. serious roommate heart to heart definitely necessary there. respect... another thing that should just come naturally to people but unfortunately doesn't.

ok so now i'm in for the night... time for some studying. eh.

two

biology this morning. yay for lectures!! then bio lab... a 30 minute walk down a hill way past the already far away student parking lot, all to take 10 minutes and measure a flower, then the 30 minutes walk back UP the hill. eeww its hot. now i'm all sticky and sweaty. gross.

brandon seems to be in an infinitely better mood this morning =D this makes me very happy!! 4 DAYYSSS!!!

one

i really hope brandon comes around. i pray to god he does. he has to... i desperately need him to. i love him so much but he HAS to learn to trust me. i can't go on having to tell him everything i'm doing every second of the day. don't get me wrong i don't mind doing it at all... for now. this is a really really hard adjustment, especially considering his past. i'll do it for the whole semester if i have to. but not forever. i can't do that, he just has to trust me.

because i love him more than life. if he can't ever see that... then maybe we aren't meant to be. now i'm not giving up hope yet, but he has to eventually. he has to feel my love. i feel like i've got SOO much of it to give, i'm going to bust at the seams. i love him so much i just want to stand on a mountain and scream it to the world. he makes me feel like no one else ever has, and i would never ever trade this feeling or him for the world. i completely understand, or at least as much as anyone can, how he can feel about being betrayed so badly so many times. but i love him. i really really do. no one else could have, at least not the way i do. because if anyone else ever did, HOW THE HELL could they ever break his heart. I LOVE HIM. i trust him with my life and my whole heart. because in a way, no matter how upset he gets sometimes, i don't think he would ever do to me whats been done to him. that's the ONLY thing the skeez has ever done that's good to him. other than that i hate her guts. and no one else is going to change my mind =] as far as i'm concerned, you could be a saint, but to betray someone like brandon so badly and absolutely break his heart... does not merit my forgiveness or likeness. i DO get to hate your guts because you are indirectly creating problems with my relationship with him now. gr. i hate her.

ok enough talk about that. i mean i could probably write a novel on the topic, but it just stresses me out more than i already am. i miss home so much =[ and brandon, obviously. i miss him the most. i can't stand being so far away. 5 more days!!!